Sr. Janet Gildea, SC reflects on being under the influence of the Holy Spirit in this months edition of E-Voc, a newsletter of the Sisters of Charity of Cincinnati.

The baptism of Jesus was a pivotal moment of his life. He experienced the love of the Father in a profound and personal way. “You are my beloved Son; with you I am well pleased” (Mk. 1:11). We can all, hopefully, relate to a deep experience of God’s love at a particular graced moment of our lives. Perhaps it was the precise moment that you wondered, in fear and trembling, in amazement and joy, what God was inviting you to discern as your life’s calling.

But then after the moment passed you might have been driven, like Jesus, to a desert place of doubt and confusion. In such bleak interior spaces, nasty little voices pipe up: “Who do you think you are? Why would God choose you?” Questions arise about your motives, your qualifications, your suitability for this calling.

Concerns assault your peace and calm. Your focus shifts to the doors that would close when you walk through this one. You feel the loss, the sacrifice, the craziness of a commitment that would limit your wide-open realm of possibilities. Is this what St. Ignatius called “desolation”? Is this God or the dark forces preying upon your fear and weakness? Under whose influence are you operating?

As Jesus must have done in the desert, cling to the driving Spirit who is always ready to show the path that leads to life, to the heart’s true desire. Let the words of Scripture be your guide, a light to your path as they were for Jesus. Check out this music video, “Thy Word” by Amy Grant.

What drives you this Lent and where? Put your life under the influence of the Spirit and see where you are driven in your discernment.

Read the whole newsletter March E-voc 2015