“ASKING FOR HELP ISN’T WEAK, IT’S A GREAT EXAMPLE OF HOW TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.”

– CHARLIE BROWN

When was the last time you asked for help?

To ask for help is to place oneself in a vulnerable position. It is an admission that you cannot do something alone, or simply that you do not have the knowledge or tools to do it. The internet has allowed us to access information readily and easily through the typing of a few words. Conversely, it may also contribute to our reluctance to ask a friend, a relative, or our colleagues a question or request assistance, because the rote response can be to simply, “Google it.” Feelings of shame and rejection can often emerge, especially when you feel embarrassed when asking a question, or the response from another person is negative, angry, impatient, or dismissive. It can be a difficult admission to realise that you cannot do something under your power alone. We treasure our independence. Our culture often distorts resilience, an important and beneficial value, as the ability to cope alone and in silence.

Meet Rob Kenney. Rob is a father of adult children and in 2020, he created a YouTube channel, “Dad, How Do I?” It is dedicated to answering all common household problems that kids typically ask their parents. The channel grew out of his own experience of seeking information and help throughout his life, growing out of the fact that other people may not have friends or relatives that can show them or teach them things when they are in a spot of trouble. The channel has grown to nearly 4.3 million subscribers. He discovered that his sharing has given permission for people to admit their ignorance and needs healthily and safely, as well as providing a space for him to share his vulnerabilities and stories. It is one example where a mutually beneficial community grew out of the modest undertaking of asking for help.

In our Christian tradition, there are many instances when Jesus asked for help and assistance. In fact, Jesus was not a person who liked doing things alone. His friends and disciples are constantly helping him organise crowds, or to find food, shelter, and even a donkey! Jesus recognises the beauty and joy in working together with others in community and love. His experiences and his deep knowledge of God’s unconditionally loving and abundant giving led him to invite others to operate in freedom and trust when asking for help. In the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus said, “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives and everyone who searches finds, and for everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.”

As Vincentians, we are familiar with the requests from Companions, friends, and strangers alike. It is an act of humility to ask for assistance and aid. The hope is that any request, whether given or received, is met with respect, empathy, and an honouring of the inherent dignity of every person we encounter. May you have the courage and humility to ask, “Can you help me?”

QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION

• What is your response when people ask for help? How do you feel when you ask for help?
• How can asking for help lead to deeper relationships with God and other people?

From: Firewood for the soul, vol. 2, A Reflexion Book for the Whole Vincentian Family
St. Vincent de Paul Society, Queensland, Australia.
Text by: Samantha Hill and James Hodge.