“LOVE IS OUR TRUE DESTINY. WE DO NOT FIND THE MEANING OF LIFE BY OURSELVES ALONE – WE FIND IT WITH ANOTHER.”

– THOMAS MERTON

Do you know where the best place is for things to get done? Around a table. There is a reason why tables are ubiquitous in our homes, workplaces, and public places. They serve more than their obvious practical utility as placeholders and storehouses. Gathering around a table for a meal or a meeting is one of the most pivotal systems for building deep connections, effective collaboration, and relationships.

The table has been a long-standing part of the Christian tradition. The altars of our churches find their origin in the tables of the home churches of early Christian communities. The last communal gathering of Jesus with his disciples before his crucifixion was around a table. After his death, two of his disciples at Emmaus recognised Jesus in the breaking of the bread. The Eucharist is the source and summit of the Christian life. Jesus’ practice of engagement with people was focussed on meeting people in the midst of their lives and their contexts. Waiting for people to come to us is not engagement; it is providing a service in a transactional manner. We are called to move beyond our sedentary positions and join the tables of other people.

Some of the best community organisers in our country can be found in our Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander communities. They can also be found in migrants and refugee communities that reside in cities and towns across this vast land. Why? There is a rich history of dialogue that emphasises relationship, common purpose, and story sharing as gateways to deep connections. There is a heartfelt interest in the whole person that gives space to the practical and personal. There is the recognition that communal gatherings and celebrations serve as important avenues for social and personal wellbeing. In neighbourhoods and cities, we may not know the people who live in the house two doors down or gather in groups outside our carefully chosen and manicured friendship groups.

Being curious is the key to meaningful engagement and relationship building. We can believe that we must know all the answers. When we start something new, it is often assumed that we have a clear plan, a perfect process, and failsafe procedures for everything to go right. We think we need to tell a stranger about ourselves first or not pry into their life with too many personal questions. We avoid being curious or admitting our ignorance, often reluctant to utter the simple phrase, “I don’t know.” One of the most powerful tools in any language for deeper conversation is to ask, “Can you tell me more about that?”

The importance of sitting around a table is the model of connecting and dialogue. It begins with the simplicity of talking to one another. Asking about the day. Finding common interests and passions. Being curious. From there, we begin the beautiful journey of true and deep connection.

QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION

• Who have you invited around your table recently?
• How do you foster community and connection in your life?

From: Firewood for the soul, vol. 2, A Reflexion Book for the Whole Vincentian Family
St. Vincent de Paul Society, Queensland, Australia.
Text by: Samantha Hill and James Hodge.