Amanda writes of her long Advent waiting for an answer to her petition to enter the postulancy.
“So you know how I mentioned that I was experiencing my own personal understanding of the meaning of Advent? That was my sly way of saying “so I applied for postulancy a month ago….and I’ve been waiting for an answer ever since” And I waited….and waited….and waited. I’m not going to lie, it seemed like forever….and doubts and self-consciousness started to pop up (“what if they don’t accept me? what will I do then?, etc etc”).”
But lately, as I waited longer and longer, I gave it all up to God. I said “you know what, it’s not up to me anymore….whatever the Council decides is Your will, God, and You know what is best for me. I put everything in Your hands” Before you think me holy in any way, know that it wasn’t easy…nor was it consistent. I was constantly fighting with myself over who was really in control: me or God.
But tonight, after so much waiting, I received the call. And the answer was….yes, I am accepted to postulancy with my beloved Daughters of Charity.
Finding out was like a breath of fresh air….it was a feeling of relief, a feeling of letting go, a feeling of peace, but most of all a feeling of JOY.
What an amazing early Christmas present. I couldn’t have asked for anything more.
Tags: Amanda, discernment, Postulancy, vocations