The women’s shelter announced last year by the local St. Vincent de Paul Society has opened. From an interview with the director, Elaine Borman: “People gave to us a lot when we needed, and now I look at it as my turn to give back.”

Shelter director has been in victim’s shoes

by Nathan Greenhalgh

Reedsburg Times-Press – October 19, 2007 – retrieved October 21, 2007

REEDSBURG—When dealing with the victims of abusive personal relationships, a cycle of abuse is often part of their lives. Less common is a cycle of care, which the manager of a Reedsburg’s women’s shelter personifies.

Elaine Borman is the house manager/executive director of Ozanam House, a shelter for homeless women who are sometimes escaping abuse, in downtown Reedsburg. In 1987 Borman was one of these women, seeking refuge from an abusive ex-husband in a Madison shelter for women.

“People gave to us a lot when we needed, and now I look at it as my turn to give back,” Borman said. “You feel empathy for that person because you can really relate to what they’re going through because you’ve been there. I know with all the experience I’ve had.”

Borman was living in Madison and studying in Edgewood College’s weekend degree program when she divorced her husband. They had two children together, Jon and Brian, whom Borman raised. He still had visitation rights with the children, though, and would pop back into her life.

“I was already divorced but my ex-husband was abusive. He was a heavy drinker and heavy into drugs,” she said. “He would come back in the area. He would get visitation with the boys.”

Elaine was living with the boys at her parents’ house when one night, her ex-husband abused her so much that she called the police, who referred her to the Madison shelter, more for safety than economic reasons.

“I got out before he could harm the boys,” Borman said. “It was a very dark time in my life — to struggle and get through all of this and not just be on my own but to bring two small boys into it.”

The shelter was just what Borman and her young boys needed.

“It was a very safe place,” she said. “When you’re there you cannot tell anyone where you are, that would jeopardize the safety of all the residents there. It was just what I needed to get back on my feet.”

Not only was the shelter a safe haven, but she also could take classes on childcare, nutrition and how to deal with abuse.
“They offered a lot of help and guidance … to help you get out of the mess you were in,” she said.

After a month, they helped her find a place to live by pairing her up with another woman from the shelter. This lasted two weeks, until Borman rented a townhouse with help from the United Methodist Church.

“I’ve been very active in the church ever since,” Borman said.

Eventually she finished at Edgewood with a degree in business. Her boys are now grown-up and Borman has been happily living with her partner Tom for 20 years.

Borman later obtained a master’s degree in business and was working for Experience Works, a national nonprofit helping low-income seniors find job solutions, before being contacted and hired by Ozanam House, bringing the cycle of care full circle. She says the house will offer local women a path out of dire straits.

“Usually women who come to homes like this have a very low self-esteem,” she said. “When you offer your support and help that’s when they get it back. Then they can succeed.”