Loneliness is one of the greatest scourges of our time, and is no respecter of persons… Over the past 150 years, the Society in NSW has come to understand how open communication is a key factor in challenging loneliness. Our brother, Bl Frederic Ozanam, knew that although advice costs nothing it helps little. Giving comfort, hope to the lonely
By JOHN O’NEILL
9 July, 2006
In an age where technological developments have meant it has never been easier to reach out and contact someone many of us feel lonely and isolated.
Many people have no one to confide in or to assist them, and they lack the friendships and social connections they deserve.
Loneliness is one of the greatest scourges of our time, and is no respecter of persons. It doesn’t choose its subjects against a set of criteria but rather penetrates society at all levels affecting different types of people from all walks of life.
Loneliness can take grip at any time manifesting itself in a myriad of different ways; from depression to despair, suicide to addiction – these social ills are often a result of what precedes them, loneliness.
By working with and assisting people across the societal spectrum, the St Vincent de Paul Society understands and tries to combat the loneliness felt by the homeless men, women and children on the streets of Sydney and NSW, the elderly who watch the hours tick away without a visit from a family member or friend, or families who, even though not physically alone, still feel the effects of loneliness by not being able to share their worries and fears with those around them. Loneliness cruelly strips away dignity and metaphorically leaves in its place a deep, dark hole that can often be impossible to climb out of.
As social beings, one of our greatest needs is to communicate. Failure to do so brings isolation, estrangement and a feeling of loss. Loveless marriages, unhappy homes, unhappy people, undiagnosed mental illnesses, and other consequences of modern living can all set in motion a chain of events that remove the choice from people’s lives, leaving them to suffer alone and, in some cases, finding themselves on the external boundaries of society.
Over the past 150 years, the Society in NSW has come to understand how open communication is a key factor in challenging loneliness. Our brother, Bl Frederic Ozanam, knew that although advice costs nothing it helps little.
Communication is not only about talking, it is about listening and having empathy.
Through the Society’s work in home, hospital, street and prison visitation services, we realise that what lonely people need and crave is a compassionate listener. A problem shared is a problem halved but what is most significant about this is that by listening, we can begin to understand the plight of our fellow brothers and sisters.
A problem can only begin to be solved once it is identified and it can only be realised by listening.
At the Matthew Talbot Hostel, a Special Work of the Society, one area that is given much focus is the case management of people on a one-to-one basis.
Professional social workers reach out to the homeless men of Sydney, offering compassion and understanding.
Through their work, the case workers endeavour to understand the men’s problems, as well as build up a sense of trust that is necessary to add hope and bring about a realisation that the men can invest in their lives again enabling them to move away from a street environment to independent living.
The Matthew Talbot and other special works of the Society aim to break the cycle of homelessness by identifying and trying to understand the root causes of such displacement. Active listening provides a means by which we can start to assist in breaking this cycle.
We are all God’s children, created in His vision and put on this earth to carry out His good work. Just like Jesus, we need to reach out and help when we are needed.
Charity begins at home but does not end there. Jesus desires of us to reach out to others with his peace. It is our responsibility to show this peace by replacing our selfish, jealous and independent tendencies with a more wholesome attitude. By doing this we will be more inclusive of a wider group of society and hopefully start to identify why people are alone and how they can be helped.
“Greater good no man has than he lay down his life for his friends.” Jesus submitting to His death teaches each of us how we must lay down our lives by our willingness to be a friend to every person.
Through His work, He teaches us to combat loneliness by reaching out and listening.
[Written with the assistance of Julie McDonald.]
Keep smiling and God bless.
John O’Neill is NSW/ACT state president of the St Vincent de Paul Society.
