When the neighbor calls, we hear the voice of Christ. When go to visit him, we see the face of Christ. When we pray with the neighbor, together in His name, we feel the presence of Christ. When we feed Him, we are grateful. When we help Him, we feel God’s joyful grace. But when the neighbor calls a second time, a third time, a fourth or fifth time, do we always respond with the same love and gratitude?

There is more than one way to look at persistent cries for help. Jesus, after all, often encouraged us to be persistent in our calls to God. The man awakened at midnight by a friend’s call for bread, if he does not get up to give him the loaves because of their friendship, he will get up to give him whatever he needs because of his persistence. The widow, who persuaded even the dishonest judge by her persistence, shows us that God will surely not be slower in answering us. The Canaanite woman and blind Bartimaeus, neither of whom accepted no for an answer, remind us again that our persistence will not try God’s patience, but will regarded as evidence of our faith in Him. In a similar way, the neighbors who call us repeatedly are showing their faith in a friend who has helped them before. For this faith, for this friendship, we should always be grateful.

At the same time, we remain mindful that “it is important not to create dependencies in the people we help.” [Manual, 24] It is helpful to keep in mind that we are not the Society of bill-paying, or of problem-solving. We are the Society of St Vincent de Paul, serving in love and friendship. We seek to relieve the most urgent needs that we can, but seek always to promote self-sufficiency; we “endeavor to help the poor to help themselves whenever possible.” [Rule, Part I, 1.10] This shouldn’t begin with the fourth visit, driven by our impatience, but with the relationship that we seek to form from the first time we meet.

Setting the neighbor on a path to self-sufficiency may seem like a challenging responsibility, but, properly understood, this is not a call for us to make a plan or to give the neighbor a list of tasks to complete. We should, in fact, be slow to give advice, listening instead, and allowing them to make their own plans. [Conf Pres, 35] As has often been said, the poor are experts on their own situation, but who seeks their expertise? Who listens to them? Who encourages them? Nobody but a true friend, a trusted and trusting friend; a Vincentian.

We should always consider each need, each situation on its own merits, not by arbitrary limits on our generosity. But we must never underestimate the greater good we can do by offering our friendship, encouragement, empowerment, and faith in the neighbor. As Bl. Frédéric explained, “charity does not achieve the same shining miracles under this humble form that may signal its presence elsewhere, although much genuine good remains unrecognized even by those who do it.” [164 bis, to the Society, 1837]

Contemplate

Do I try to begin forming a true and trusting friendship on each home visit?

By Timothy Williams,
Senior Director of Formation & Leadership Development
Society of St. Vincent de Paul USA.