On our home visits, the Rule insists that we do not judge those we serve but rather seek to understand them as we would a brother or sister. [Rule, Part I, 1.9] Motivated by love alone, this sounds easy, right up until we realize that we also must grapple with the demands of accountability and prudence in using the funds so generously donated to us. We do not judge the neighbor, but we must make a practical judgment of what is possible, and what is appropriate – and it is so easy to question our own judgment.

The easiest way to avoid making any judgment at all is to spend our time on the visit filling in every box on a lengthy form or questionnaire in a futile attempt to get “the whole story,” or to create a virtual flowchart to tell us whether assistance is warranted. In this way, no matter how much our hearts may pull us in the opposite direction, we can always point to our clipboards, shrug our shoulders, and reassure ourselves that our hands are tied. “Our malady,” Vincent said, “is that we don’t trust Him but look to human prudence.” [CCD XII:104]

Of course, we always try to better understand the neighbor’s situation, and sometimes that means asking questions that may seem prying in any other situation. What we seek to avoid, though, is shoehorning each story into a predefined rubric, leading us, as “if the only tool [we] have is a hammer, to treat everything as if it were a nail.” [Maslow, Science, 15] This approach only helps us avoid the responsibility to think – and to feel – things through, judging each need on its own merits.

Blessed Frédéric offers us the most practical and effective way, reminding us that “in such a work it is necessary to give yourself up to the inspirations of the heart rather than the calculations of the mind. Providence gives its own counsel through the circumstances around you, and the ideas it bestows on you. I believe you would do well to follow them freely and not tie yourselves down with rules and formulas.” [82, to Curnier, 1834]

We can write down all the information we want, and we will never, on one home visit, know “the whole story” – nor do we need to. The Manual even makes clear that we “should be careful to record only what is essential to serve [the neighbor].” [Manual, 21] We are not there to audit books, to inventory lives, to assign culpability, or to find a flaw in the story. As St. Vincent reminds us, we should “get in the habit of judging events and persons, always and in all circumstances, for the good.” [CCD XI:638]

In our judgment of the need, it is always best to err on the side of generosity, and always best to give the neighbor the benefit of the doubt. As daunting as it may seem to trust our own judgment, though, we needn’t be too fearful of error, trusting instead that the God Who called us to this work will guide both our judgment and our mercy in discerning the best way to help.

Contemplate

Am I sometimes hesitant in my generosity, feeling that I don’t know enough?

By Timothy Williams,
Senior Director of Formation & Leadership Development
Society of St. Vincent de Paul USA.