Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians has one powerful line that has defined my self-awareness for most of my life.  “By God’s grace, I am what I am.”  For Paul, it seems like such a compelling summation of his life and the starting point for his future service of Christ.

The context in the letter finds Paul reflecting on the fact that Christ suffered and died and was raised to new life.  He affirms how the Church has been blessed through the apostles and how the resurrected Lord appears to the members of the early Church to comfort and strengthen them.  And then comes his marvelous assertion:

Last of all, as to one born abnormally, he appeared to me.  For I am the least of the apostles, not fit to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God. But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me has not been ineffective. (1 Cor 15:8-10)

Paul makes no attempt to deny his guilt in his actions against the Church.  He has accepted that reality as part of his life.  He also recognizes it as a reason that he has become the person that he is.  He attributes all this to God’s grace, and he celebrates the way in which that gift has proven effective in his life.  Now, he is willing to go anywhere, to endure any hardship, to accept death if Christ can be proclaimed.

For whatever reason (God’s grace?), Paul’s statement has stayed dominant in my mind as I reflect upon my own story.

When I created the holy card for my ordination, there was little doubt regarding the Scripture passage that would express my hope as I moved into my first ministry as a Vincentian priest.  God’s grace through family, friends, community, study and experience had brought me to that point.  I could say “By God’s grace, I am what I am.”  For my 25th anniversary of priesthood, I used the same card.  The intervening years since ordination had brought me to graduate school, teaching assignments, service to the international community, and other works.  I had lived and ministered as a priest with all the challenges and blessings that entails.  I had learned and experienced a lot since ordination, and I could say “By God’s grace, I am what I am.”  Similarly, on my 40th anniversary, I used this card and quote.  When I preached at the mass on each of these occasions, I used much the same homily as I gave thanks for God’s ongoing presence in my life.

As you might imagine, when, by the goodness of God, I celebrate my 50th anniversary, I intend to follow suit with gratitude and renewed awareness— “By God’s grace, I am what I am.”

Each one of us can say something of the same.  As we look at ourselves at a particular time and place, we can confess that God’s grace has brought us to that point.  Wishing that we had a different past is pointless.  We need to hope for a future in which we use the good fortune that has brought us to that moment.  It is always true for each one of us: “By God’s grace, I am what I am.”